Coast 2 Coast

Tomorrow we leave for our coast to coast adventure.  San Diego to Miami in 6 days.

We are going to go to the zoo.  And the beach.  And that's all I want to do for the rest of forever.
Do you think I'll come back with a tan?  Circle yes or no.  But I'm really hoping for a yes.
I  am pretty sure that my two suitcases weigh more than I do.
When I told Ryan that I hope he doesn't hate me and all of my stuff, he said:
"I am not concerned about how many things you bring."
Which I then translated to:
"Oh, Tessa, I just want to love you forever and live happily ever after with you at the zoo and on the beach, and I think it is absolutely adorable that you need 14 pairs of shoes for our 6 day vacay."
The end.



It’s me!  Things are just a little different.  You’ll be okay.  And I’m going to wear a bathing suit (in public) in a few days.


Teeny Tiny

Last night I found these Teeny Tiny Potatoes at Trader Joe’s. I can capitalize them because that is really what they are called – as in, proper noun potatoes. See:

I love them. I don’t even want to eat them because they are so cute. But at the same time I want to eat them because they are so cute.  (You know, like the way you want to eat a baby. The figurative kind of eating, of course.) So, instead of eating them, I think I want to make all of them little beds out of folded up napkins and tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. All of them. There are maybe 43 per bag. Maybe not. I didn’t count. But they are each about the size of a thumbnail. Adorable.

Have I already told you about my love affair with Trader Joe? I don’t know him personally yet, but let’s just say that it would be in Ryan's best interest to step up his organic gardening skills.


Ryan & The Bears

Ryan loves Chicago. Ryan loves sports. So every morning, he wakes up and reads the Chicago sports news on his iPhone. And then he lives happily ever after. Wait. Not yet. I have to be involved in any equation that involves Ryan and happily ever afters. But I’m willing to give a little percentage to the Chicago Bears, Bulls, and Cubs, since I know they make him oh so happy.

So, Ryan happened to find himself in Chicago this weekend. He was celebrating his Pop’s 90th birthday (Woah! Go, Pop!), and then he decided that since he was already there, he should probably just go ahead and go to the Bears playoff game. And so he did. Because he just does things like that.

Yes.  That says Row 8, Seat 12.

Yes.  That was his view.  (Picture taken from his phone - no zooming.)

Yes.  I still love him even when he makes the Bear face and wears crazy hats.

The end.  Sorry Bears.  Maybe next year.


Teaching for America

“I am dedicated to the vision that one day, all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education. I will constantly strive to meet the needs of my students and will do my best in the pursuit of educational equity and excellence.
I hereby commit.”

Oh, hey. My life just changed. BIG time. And my heart is so happy and full. Like maybe it will explode. How is yours doing?


A Lot & Nothing

Simultaneously, a lot and nothing happened today. Here is the a lot that happened: I had a crazy morning dream about earthquakes and my house splitting in two. In the dream, Ryan called my work and asked if I had made it in and if I was okay. The girls said they hadn’t seen me yet, and then Ryan said something like: “Oh well, she was only dating me for my body anyway”. (Which, by the way, is totally true.) And so then I woke up and went home and fed and watered my cat. He played Nordstrom bag:

I took a shower and then Krista called me and told me she locked herself out of her house and can I maybe come get her. And I told her for sure I could come get her and then I stuffed a cracker in my mouth and walked out of the door. And then she called me and asked if I had left yet because she just broke into her house and I told her I wanted to go check out some jeggings. So we checked out some jeggings and I got sad because they ran really small and I had to try on a size bigger than I usually wear. Hi, my name is Tessa, and I have major body issues. (Just being honest. We’re all friends here.) And then we went to Gap and Barnes & Noble and back to my house to do some good old fashioned Facebook stalking. Krista and Rex are basically in love – except for when he bit her arm kind of hard.  And I bought these ballet flats from Gap - except they were $8 instead of $50.  (Do you think I'm an amazing bargain shopper?  You better circle yes.)

Thanks, Gap.

Or, you can look at it this way: basically I did nothing today. Krista came over and we ran to Birkdale and then sat on my couch for hours upon hours. After she left, I sat on my couch for hours upon hours, talking to Ashley and Heather via the cellular telephone. Today was a day for girlfriends. I like that. And somehow I ended up in this super fly outfit:

 (Do you like my camera self-timer failure? And when’s the last time you said “super fly”? Confession: I also used the term “bananas” today in an email to Ryan. “This parking thing is bananas.”)


Party Bun

I’ve already told you about Reagan’s Blob before. I know so because I love it. And sharing is caring. So, yesterday Reagan told me how to make a party bun and today I woke up and felt like this: a party. Sometimes there is always a party in my head (that’s what I say about Rex, too). And since you can’t sometimes always have something, I mean 59% of the time. 59% equals Tessa’s sometimes always head party. 100% equals Rex’s 100% always head party.

So I woke up and decided, since I have a party in my head this morning, why not put a party on my head. You know, a party bun. So I went to work with a party bun and a flower attached to my head. And then the party was over at 2:30.

Party buns are exhausting. I’m sorry I can’t provide a photograph for your viewing pleasure.  I also wore a cape.  For real.  You can have one too from here. Except mine was $20, not $70. Holla. 

Thanks, Gap.


Birthday Love

Today is my mom's birthday.  I like her a lot, so I wrote her this love letter:

Happy Birthday, Mamasita!
I tried calling you this morning, but Dad said you were still sleeping.
What? You think you are allowed to sleep in on your birthday?
OKAY! I think you are too.
I hope you have the happiest of happy days.
I hope it is quiet if you want it to be.
Or maybe just have a dance party.
And shake what your mama gave you!
(Someone in the family gave me enough booty for two -
oh, I must have gotten Ashley's too. Because she got a no booty booty.
What kind of booty did you get?)
I hope your dogs are kind to you today.
And I hope your cat is kind to your dogs.
And your husband is kind to your cat.
And you, of course.
What is he going to cook for you?
I feel like you usually like CB & C.
You know, corn beef and cabbage.
Or is it "corned".
Us herbivores don't know the proper carnivore lingo.
I really just wanted to tell you that I made it to the post office.
As in - I wasn't snowed in anymore.
Nor did I get stuck on ice like I did yesterday.
That was a big winter weather driving fail.
So your presents will be there soon.
Maybe on Friday -
since that's when you think your birthday really is anyway.
I love you.
Happy birthday.
The end.

(And later I found that she is eating shrimp and rice for her birthday dinner. Made with love by my father, of course.)



Who likes blue? Anyone? Anyone? On my second snow day, I decided to be done with this blue and gray blanket that I have been knitting for the past four (yes, four!) years:

Obviously, I worked on it very sporadically – like three times a year – but it has haunted me knowing that I’d left it unfinished for so long. So, hooray! As of today, the blanket is done! It ended up being 40 inches by 48 inches – perfect for a throw blanket or a small child. Unfortunately, I’m fresh out of small children.

So, who likes blue? I’m looking to give my MWL (made with love) blanket a MWL home. He promises to be quiet, look pretty, and keep you really warm on the coldest days of winter.


The Opossum Toy

Today is snow day number two. Last night I made enough potato soup to last me eight days (you know, just in case). I have already eaten half of it. Oops. In addition to constant eating, I decided to wash all of my sheets, blankets, and towels. This is Rex’s favorite day. I don’t know why – let’s just chalk it up to him being psychotic – but he love love loves when I strip the bed. He plays all kinds of war games on the mattress and hides in the blankets piled on the floor.

He was all about the opossum today. Until he put him under the oven. Under the oven is the land of lost toys. One day they will catch on fire and then he’ll be sorry. Actually, he is already sorry. He stands by the oven and cries until I remove the under the oven drawer and save them. This time though, I made him learn his lesson. Under the oven is not where we keep our toys, Rex. But now I should probably go get him out so he doesn’t catch on fire. Because then I’d be sorry.

What do you worry about not being able to save if your house catches on fire? Morbid question. I worry about my clothes. Shame on me. Most importantly, my favorite jeans. Hey, a good pair of jeans is hard to find. Shame, shame. And my boots. Shame. Oh, and my cat. And purse (for identification purposes, not because there’s any money in there).

Now my mom isn’t going to be able to sleep because she’s going to be thinking about the opossum fire all night.  Today I also did my hair and put on a full face of makeup.  Wearing sweatpants and looking like a boy for four days is not good for the self.



Today is a surprise happy snow day. On my SHSD, I have done the following:

Drank 3 cups of vanilla cinnamon tea
Folded a laundry
Organized a cupboard
Got distracted by things I found, and decided to take a small crafting break
Washed my bathroom rugs
Starved (no food for the snow storm)
Swiffer wetted my bathroom floors
Did my mother’s resume
Cleaned the 7 inches of snow off my car with a cutting board (this worked fabulously by the way, so don’t you snicker)
Drove 15 miles per hour to the grocery store
Ate 13 vanilla wafers
Got in a fight with Rex (over snuggling)
Threw a pillow at Rex’s face
Cut off my hangnails
Drank a hot chocolate
Dreamed about the days when I was able to drive to the Target (you know, any day without snow)

And that’s all so far. Oh, you wanted to know about my crafting session? I ripped out pages of a mini dictionary and glued them on my magic magnet scrabble board. Why, yes, in fact I did strategically choose the pages I wanted to use. They were chosen based on the words at the top of the page, one or two pages per letter of the alphabet. I was sure to include words I love like: alligator and jerkwater and naked. Obviously there were more words than that, but those are the only three I can think of. Here, see for yourself:

Oh, and it’s totally fine of me to like the word naked – I know you were still scratching your head about that one. I also really like the word bodega.  Before three weeks ago, I had never heard it in my life.  Now I have probably heard it 23 times.  Crazy.  And maybe you are also scratching your head saying: What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is jerkwater?  Don't fret, I'm scratching my head with you.


Hey So

Hey so I really like this leftover NYE elevator ride snapshot:

Kellie, you crack me up.
That is all.


A For Real Tiger

The day I got a for real tiger was Christmas. Ryan and I currently share custody of the for real tiger, and I hope that lasts forever – because, you know, I’m hoping he’ll love me forever and everything like that. My sister, brother-in-law, and sweet nephew were the givers of our for real tiger and I will love them forever because of it. Even if they forget my birthday or crash my car or break my two front teeth (which are already fake, by the way), I will love them forever because they provided me with a for real tiger for Christmas in 2010. And I’ll say, with a lisp through my broken teeth: Hey, ith okay. Remember that one Chrithmath that you goth me a for real thiger? I thill love you for that.

So, our for real tiger lives in Asia. And we love him. And here is what we looked like when we got him.

What? Getting a for real tiger for Christmas doesn’t make you cry? Don’t be jealous. You can visit World Wildlife to get your own.



I hope you got fancied up...

popped champagne...

danced some dances...

fish kissed on your someone special ...

and lived happily ever after.

We did!  This is going to be my most favorite 2011 there ever was.