The Shorts

The day Ryan told Rex that he was getting fat and I took it as a way of Ryan telling me I was getting fat was yesterday.  The F word (fat) just isn’t a word that is allowed to be used ever.  Never.  Even if, and maybe especially if, you are just talking about your girlfriend's beloved cat.  Because, quite frankly, we are crazy.  Crazy town crazy.  So I spent my evening doing the YouTube version of “8 Minute Abs” over and over and over again.  I really only did it twice.  And then I thought I was going to vom.

So now that I am all skinny again – because I’ve done my 16 minutes of light exercise for the year – I’ve developed a complex about my workout attire.  After admiring my soon-to-be rock hard abs, Ryan made some choice comments about my neon mesh Champion shorts that “are from the 80s”.  Actually, there was no admiring, and there will be no rock hard abs probably ever, and – for your information – my 1985 neon mesh Champion shorts were actually purchased three days ago.  Three days.  Brand new.  From Marshall’s.    For $5.99.  With the approval of my mother!  Who, by the way, birthed me in 1985.  AND, because I also wore them yesterday (don’t judge), I know that my friends are not embarrassed to be in public with me when I wear them.  At least not embarrassed enough to make me sit in the car while they go on a walk through Freedom Park.

Unrelated, I’m pretty sure I’m addicted to Draw Something.  And I’m pretty Ryan is considering kicking me to the curb – my fat cat perched on my shoulder, no abs, wearing brand new but outdated clothing, and playing Pictionary on my iPhone.

(Please note: I do not really think that I am fat.  My cat is actually one pound overweight.  We are seeking counseling for the body image problems that Ryan has created for him. And I’m considering a 12 step program for my Draw Something addiction.)


Celebrating Three

Ryan is probably the best gift giver ever.  Not only is he super sentimental and thoughtful, but his presents are basically all things that I never knew I'd always wanted.


Three keys for three years.  Or one for me, one for Ryan, and one for Rex, like I initially thought.  Sometimes I'm not at smart as my 4.0 says I am.

As for me, I like to stick to three ingredient recipes and crafty little somethings.  I've eaten 95% of this chocolate pudding cake, and was super pleased with my cake toppers.  Ryan liked his photo book the best.  You can check it out on Shutterfly by clicking here.

This is what is making me happy this weekend:
Shopping with my mom.  Watching Rex watch golf on TV.  Finding grenadine at the Harris Teeter.  Playing Draw Something with Perry.  Ryan buying me eight Chobani yogurts in my favorite flavors.  Filing my taxes all by myself.  And ... Booking our week long April trip to Turks and Caicos!

To prepare for our trip, I bought a beach hat that Ryan said is stupid and I also watched an ab workout video.  Please note that I watched it, as in - I did not actually do it.  I sat on my yoga mat and basically thought about crying and/or finishing off my chocolate cake.


1. 2. 3. Check!

Today we are three.  And my heart is so full of happy.
I maybe will dance on the furniture.
Or bake a chocolate cake.
And love this man for the rest of ever.
Happy anniversary to us!
Love.  Love.  Love.
1.  2.  3.


Happy Everything

Once upon a time, time fast forwarded to March.  I trust that this is true and I am pleased with Charlotte’s sunshine and 60 degree days that come with the early signs of spring.  Winter happened – for real – and although it went undocumented, trust that Ryan worked 300 hour weeks, traveled to 55 states, and probably stopped by a few different countries, too.  I mostly read Hunger Games and watched Real Housewives of everywhere.  I also had a short stint of taking the stairs up to Ryan’s 11th floor condo, eating obsessively healthy and quitting sweets forever.  This lasted exactly nine days.  Since then, I’ve doubled my caloric intake, completely stopped exercising, and ate chocolate pie for breakfast today.  Last weekend we spent a perfect two days in South Beach, where, after initially missing my 5am flight, we laid at the pool, wore brand new clothes, drank a frozen mojito, went to super fancy dinners, and took zero pictures.  

When we got back from Miami, Ryan quickly left me for Canada and two other places of which I cannot keep track.  Right now, he’s getting ready to travel to states number 56 and 57 of the year and ordering Jimmy John’s for lunch since we only have chocolate cake and water here.  Luckily, I got to keep him around for the weekend, and we got to see some of our long lost favorite people.  There were lots of things to catch up on celebrate, including:

Mike’s girlfriend Karissa’s birthday,

favorite friends that we don't see nearly enough,

 our (almost) three year anniversary,

the right to whip your hair back and forth because it's your birthday and you can do whatever the heck you want,

and many other fantastic things that are in store for our wonderful group of friends.

Happy March.  Happy sunny Sunday.  Happy and safe travels to Ryan.  Happy birthday to Karissa.  Happy 1,092 days spent with the love of my life.  Happy snuggles with Rex.  Happy weekend before your half-marathon to my sister.  Happy house building to Heather.  Happy first baby smile to the Viglione family.  Happy everything to everyone, whatever you maybe be celebrating today.

 And dear Zac and Ryan, I'm sorry for calling you guys idiots last night.