Bargains Here, Cubs There

Last night, Ryan sent me a text message telling me that he was on his way to San Francisco. I replied: “Do they make rice there?” … and this was a serious question. Something in my head was telling me that rice was the San Francisco treat. And yes, it’s true, Rice-A-Roni is just that! Sometimes my mom calls my cat Rex-A-Roni, and he is okay with it since he is the Cornelius, NC treat.

Ryan flies a lot and it makes me nervous – time passes slowly while you are waiting for a loved one to let you know that they are safe, you know? This time, he was traveling from somewhere in California to see a Cubs game in San Francisco (he is really hard to keep track of). Before he left, he told me that he was going to be sitting in the first or third row (not the second though). As it turns out, he was in the first row right behind home plate. It also turns out that he disobeyed very clear Batter’s Box Seat instructions to refrain from using his cell phone. Ooooo! I’m telling!

While Ryan was busy jetting from place to place on the West Coast, I was bargain shopping in Charlotte. Remember this $40 scarf that I fell in love with in February? I found it tossed in a milk crate on the top shelf in the back sale room of Anthropologie, marked down to $10. An older lady watched me as I excitedly took the entire crate down and uncovered my dream-come-true. I put it on immediately and I knew she was waiting for me to change my mind so that she could scoop it up. Not going to happen, ma’am! This is my find! And then I found a pair of jeans for $12. Can you believe it? I couldn’t either. What luck!

And then I went to the grocery store and collected a basket full of goodies and a gallon of milk. The gallon of milk didn’t fit in the basket, which is why it must be listed separately, okay? So I haven’t been to the grocery store in about 2 weeks, and I was thinking this was going to be a big trip. Big like at least $40, which is big for a little person who lives alone and doesn’t cook. My groceries are rung up, and my grand total is … $13. My response was:“WHAT?!”.  And the poor awkward cashier kid didn’t know what to say to me. Because I should have been very pleased with my bargains and his impressive bagging skills. But I was so disappointed that I could only come up with $13 worth of items that interested my tummy.

My sister is writing me a book that is going to be called “Everyone Eats”, and I’d like her to include a “WHAT?!” page. It will have a list of what everyone eats. And where they eat it. And how much it costs them. Like: do they eat a $5 soft pretzel in the mall? And are they embarrassed?  Are they interested in learning how to live off of $13 worth of food?  Maybe I should be the one writing the book.