Super Hero Senses

Ryan tells me that I have super hero hearing. Maybe he just tells me that I have super hearing abilities, but I like to think that he thinks of me as a super hero – or at least a super girlfriend with super hero senses. (Sometimes, when I repeat a word too many times … like the word “super” … it starts to sound completely wrong and makes me feel like my throat is closing up. Does this happen to you?) As super as it may sound, life with super hero hearing is actually not so super. In fact, I hate it. I can hear everything, and there is just no ignoring what the super ears hear. This usually results in a lack of sleep, which makes for a grumpy-ish Tessa. My best friend from Kindergarten, Katie, has a super hero nose and can name any smell in the world.  It is really entertaining to see what she’ll come up with – like “It smells like the dog food aisle at Harris Teeter with a splash of Tide laundry detergent and my brother’s skateboard wheel.” Really. Have you met her? She’s wonderful and sweet and incredibly beautiful with super model limbs and the hair of a goddess. My parents used to get a kick out of her and her super hero nose.

Now that you hate your hair after seeing Katie's, here are some of my thoughts on super hero vision:

I do not have it. And I do not want it. Do you want to know how I know that I do not want it? Okay. So, in our hotel room, we have one of those mirrors that magnify your face like a jillion times. Do you know these mirrors? They are round and on a stand and can flip over and usually have a light. I think people with super hero vision can probably see the entire world magnified a jillion times like what we can see in these mirrors. But they see this way all the time. It isn’t something they can turn on and off, or choose to use only when it is needed, but it is something they are just stuck with (kind of like my super hero hearing). Do I need to tell you that the world magnified a jillion times isn’t going to be pretty? Hmm, well … it isn’t. Terrible things happen when you can see your face a jillion times bigger than it really is. I mean, my pores – they’re the size of moon craters, and there are many other strange and unpleasant things that I wish not to discuss. Although they are great for putting on mascara (I love mascara), I think I would probably pick my face off if I owned one of these mirrors. So, if you have one in your house – even if it is tucked away in the back corner of your bathroom closet shelf – I suggest you throw it away immediately. Right now. Go!

Today we will be leaving the super hero vision mirror and the Island of Kiawah behind. Ryan and I played with the idea of staying the night in Charleston, but I think we have vetoed it and settled for a quick drive through and maybe some lunch and shopping instead. We hear there is supposed to be a ferocious snow storm (like maybe 2 centimeters and one gust of wind?) back in Charlotte, so I think we are just going to extend our vacation back home and stay safe uptown.

Do you know how much I miss Rex? A lot. I had dreams about him and woke up happy. I think he is part super hero cat though, and he knows when I am thinking about him. I hope I’m right.

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