RKTs

Basically, I eat about 7 things. Over and over and over again. Today I tried to introduce my body to homemade Rice Krispie Treats (RKTs). I’m not even sure if making them counts as “cooking” – I’d say it’s just melting and mixing – something I’m sure plenty of third graders have mastered. I, however, am apparently incapable of making this supposedly delicious treat.

I made a special trip to the grocery store for the occasion, and it took me about 21 minutes to find the marshmallows (which I want to spell: marshmellows, okay?). Rice Krispies were on sale for $2 and that really pleased me – at least enough to stop wondering why the marshmellows weren’t on the baking aisle.

When I got home, I started melting the butter and marshmellows in a big bowl. Then I got out my rectangle circle pan. Apparently I don’t own a rectangle? So I was all:

I have a circle.

I have a circle!

Look at my circle.

It’s a circle!

And then my marshmellows and butter turned into a big puffy white thunder cloud.

I inspected it closely and thought:

Huh. Can this be right?

And I thought:

Uh-Oh!  This is not bueno.

Do you ever think that to yourself? I know you do. What's your not bueno face? 

And then I realized I hadn’t greased my pan because I was busy taking pictures of myself with my potential RKTs. So my marshmellow cloud collapsed and hardened while I frantically rubbed the end of a stick of butter all over my circle. And then I realized I hadn’t measured the cereal because I was busy taking pictures of myself with my circle. So by now I pretty much knew it was over and I only half heartedly mixed and mashed my treats into my freshly buttered and well photographed circle.

They were terrible. The end.

But PS: Did you sing the circle song when you read it?  Go back and sing it and it'll be way better.  If any of my family members want to disown me, they can.  Well, except for my dad because I'm wearing my Steelers shirt.

Okay, the for real end.