Break out the balloons, kazoos, and tigers – it’s my 100th post! Did you think it'd come this fast? I thought a lot about what I could do and say – you know, something clever involving the number 100 or a centennial of sorts. This is to say – I thought a lot about it prior to today, like weeks prior to today, and thought nothing of it when the time actually came to get down to business. All I can think about today is: change. Not your every day quarters, nickels, and dimes, but real change. It’s something I’ve been craving for a while now – I can feel it in my bones, my veins, my soul – and it’s been overwhelming my day dreams and thoughts that drift off to nowhere. The problem is: I have no idea what kind of change I need, want, or will pursue. And I have very little ambition to make this mysterious change or figure out exactly what it is.
Where did you go? And have you ever really been here?
This isn’t like the time when I chopped off thirteen inches of my hair or when I decided to join the gym or when I started eating tomatoes. It’s a bigger tug on my heart that is saying, “You need to do this,” but the “this” is a big white blob of unknown. And so it’s got me feeling almost melancholy (a word that reminds me a lot of cauliflower and a feeling that I never really have). So what is going on here? Do you know? Am I having a quarter life crisis? Should I go buy a robin’s egg blue moped with a matching helmet? Get a pedicure and paint my toenails sunshine yellow? Eat an entire carton of ice-cream? (Oh wait, that I have already done this week.) Maybe I should just cuddle up and reread Harry Potter.
Any suggestions? Happy 100! And happy second to last day of grad school!