To all the Gooses:
I don’t blame you for loving our really fabulous pond – I mean, it connects directly to Lake Norman, has a fountain, and is right next to the swimming pool – what more could a goose ask for? I think it’s wonderful that you have made my home your home – mi casa es su casa, as they say – but we really need to have a talk about noise control. The honking, squalling, calling, screaming, yelling at 11pm just has to stop. Feel free to gossip all day long, but once the sun goes down, you need to shut your little beaks. Is someone feeding you leftover bread? I will have this stopped if the racket continues at all hours of the night. This is a promise.
PS: If you are a baby goose who was simply scared and calling for his mother in the darkness, then please ignore this note. But don’t let it happen again.