Man Hands

I have brushed my teeth at least 17,520 times in my almost a quarter of a century life. If we’re being honest, it’s probably closer to 26,280 or more because I go through stints of being absolutely obsessed with my teeth. So, I think I have the appropriate amount of practice and know how to apply the proper pressure, hold a toothbrush, not swallow my toothpaste, etc. Also, I am not a particularly strong, big, or muscular person, nor am I a karate master. Unfortunately. So how the heck did this happen in the midst of a recent brushing session?!

Does my super human strength embarrass you? Or are you impressed? How about my purple toothbrush? Is someone playing a joke on me? I hate purple. How could I not recall purchasing or using a purple toothbrush until the day that it snapped in half while clutched in my man hand? This is strange guys. The incident occurred a few days ago, and I have not yet been to Target to find a replacement. Fear not, I didn’t spend the weekend with a dirty mouth. Luckily, my Crest Spinbrush has been able to step in and handle my cleanings since then. Do you still love me – man hands and all? Circle yes or no. Did you notice my “Hi Maintenance” nails?

Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny, decently warm February day, so Ryan and I decided to go on a walk and cook corn on the cob. Cooking corn on the cob has nothing to do with the walk or the nice weather, but it does have kind of a summerish feel to it, right? We had to Google instructions on how to cook our cobs because, well, we didn’t know how. Usually we grill them, and by “we” I mean “he” as in “Ryan”. But we figured this would take too long and we were absolutely famished after our walk – really – we thought we were going to throw up from being so hungry – so we decided to boil them. Are you snickering at us for looking up instructions on how to boil something? We were just looking for the time – boiling water is one of the few things I know how to do. BUT! It actually isn’t quite as simple as I thought it would be. Here is what I learned:

1) Fill a pot halfway with water.
2) Bring the water to a ____ boil. I think the word is “roaring” or “rolling” boil? I like to use the word “roar” as often as possible because it reminds me of kitties and dinosaurs, so I chose that one and let my water ROAR!
3) Add cobs of corn and return to a roar-type boil.
4) Turn off the burner.
5) Put the lid on the pot.
6) Forget about the corn and the pot and the roaring water – which should no longer be roaring – for 15 minutes.
7) Eat your corn cobs.

So, see, aren’t you glad we Googled? I am! Who knew boiling corn would be a seven stepper!

Are you wondering where we went on our walk? We went to the Wachovia building to look at the rendering of the Duke Energy building. Actually we went in there so I could use the loo. You really can’t take me anywhere. It’s embarrassing. And all of the public restrooms were locked … because it was the weekend – and you know, people don’t have to pee on Sundays. So I tried not to have a panic attack and then a kind security man showed me where there was a secret unlocked bathroom. You had to go up four stairs, through the uphill rainbow hallway, down the escalator, around a bend, and then it would be on your left. (Just in case you ever need to find it). And then we went to the Duke Energy building that looks like a giant can opener. It’s new.


ashley said...

Wow Man Hands... I never would have thought... I wonder what you ate to give yourself super human strength. :) I also like my water to roar.

Sherry said...

OMG! Didn't your Dad teach you to cook corn on the cob? I think it's roiling boil!